Hello, I ask this question not in a cosmic sense of the matter but in a more grounded way of asking the question. And that question again is why am I here? There have been others before and after me and with their stories and triumphs and I am here. There are others who have more than I could ever dream of. Yet I'm here life can go wrong and it does very much well go wrong. Yet why hasn't it gone wrong for me. I could be the very next star in some gore video. Yet I'm not I could die as I'm typing this. Heart attack, stroke or a airplane crashes onto me. Yet I'm here. What gives me the right of life while others before me have failed. I am not saying either that I shouldn't be here. I think that's kind of a pointless thing to do. Because I am here and to throw all of that away Because others before me aren't. That scares me, why am I here.

This blog post makes no sense and it really doesn't have to. I started thinking about all of this a day or two ago when I fried my first thinkpad. This thinkpad has been in my life for years and just in a moments notice it broken beyond repiar. Just like that and everything can just vanish just like that. Including me and you yet it hasn't yet. So I sit here thinking of my life and just pondering. Why am I here, what makes me so speical, so worth this trouble to be here on the earth. Why do I get the shot of happiness of love of everything I have. Yet others don't why is life so random? So absurd? is it really absurd or random. Or we just see it as random and absurd. To be honest I don't know and I wish I did.